My Love/ Hate List

No relation, just a train of thought.

LOVE LIST

• Dachshunds individually (but when there more than 3 together I can’t help but think that they do look like rats).

• People who embellish a boring story.

• In-flight entertainment that consists of organising my camera roll.

• Telling all my secrets just to keep the conversations going.

• The theatricality of ordering for the table.

• Perfume that smells like insect repellent.

• Hyper-specific insults.

• Spectacle, transformations and magic and make-believe, style, camp, eccentricity.

• Vintage Prada bowling bags.

• Gochujang.

• Inventing personalities for strangers.

• Love smoke without fire.

• Feathered clothing. Particularly my new cropped feather jacket from Relik, Goldborne road.

• The psychologically uncircumcised.

• The circumcised.

• Catan. All day.

HATE LIST

• Beef tartar.

• Adult bridesmaids.

• A button that won’t go through the hole when you’re running late.

• People who constantly suggest plans that will never happen.

• When the pip doesn’t smoothly pop out of the avocado.

• Sitting next to the door during winter so the cold wind slaps you every time someone comes/goes.

• The panic of an unfamiliar shower.

• False urgency.

• Being stuck in a conversation when a good song comes on.

• People who don’t entertain the Shakespeare was a woman theory.

• Being a newbie at a dinner table with people who already intimately know each other. I can’t join in on the inside jokes and everything I say or ask sounds like small talk or out of a ‘how to get to know someone’ leaflet.

• Not knowing what’s happening next, not knowing what you even want to happen next.

• Doing absolutely nothing all day.

• Being bad at sleeping.

• Waiting for your luggage to arrive on the conveyor belt.

• Overhearing my name from across the room.

• Sitting down and immediately regretting the chair.